this is my 'other blog' it's supposed to be the darker side, a s the title says, Why am I not an artist?' the depressed side of art, I once heard of someone who had done an MA in art and when the paintings were all hung she was so unhappy with what she'd done she went around and slashed all her work with a knife, I think although that was extreme a lot of art makers would understand, sometimes you feel that art has let you down or you have let art down, or perhaps its all just a waste of time anyway.

Sometimes looking at art that really impresses you makes you think Why can't I paint, why am I such a failure; it's only people whop don't do art who think we are having a lovely time painting and drawing. it must be so relaxing- not always.

going to galleries: sometimes inspiring; sometimes depressing. last week I went to the Biscuit Factoryand felt: why am i not an artist?, funny thing art. It can make you happy and it can make you sick!

this is a painting of a fallen tree.

I started this blog a while back but lost interest so here I am again with a couple of new paintings, they both originated in photo's of shadows which I drew on paper, cut out and used as stencils with spray paint on coloured (with acrylic) and textured (ground coffee) canvas. I had fun doing it as it was a new method of working it is good to do something diffent now and then.

laziness regarding pictures! too lazy to turn the image around! so here it is again: the painting of the tree and stones, the tree can be found near Walkworth castle, a loveloy old tree with beautiful bark and a massive scar near the bottom and with a great twist as it reaches for the sky.

I can't remember where the stones were but I know for the black pebble painting I went to South Shields to the beach on a pebble finding mission to clooect black pebbles to paint, I went on another occasion to collect white ones and I will include this painting later; I like it!

why am I not an artist? I suppose one of the apects of the question is about identity: just because I do something is that my defining activity? I am a father, a husband, a christian, a man (a ginger man at that) I used to play guitar (still do but only in my head): do I want to define myself as an artist-' I am an artist'? and anyway, what am I talking about?here's some more art

i am not an artist

why not? I draw;I paint but somehow the phrase ' am not an artist'seems to ring, if not completely true, then somehow in tune with my sense of what I am and am not, perhaps its old fasioned lack of confidence or perhaps the feeling that to be an artist one has to be completely consumed and while I draw and paint a fair bit, it doesn't consume me.

Anyway, since leaving university, an art degree which was a bit disapointing, I have felt a bit alone in my art, never connecting with like minded people with whome to share my efforts so I thought I'd give this a try.

Here is something I've done recently; its not necessarily finished and it is on its side! but If there is anyone out there who would care to comment be my guest!